Meditation and Spending Time With Yourself #selflove

This is a series about authenticity, validation, self-belief and personal power.

How we self-avoid

I’ve always been happy to spend time by myself and would keep myself occupied, busily working on my many projects or tasks. In fact, I would drive myself to achieve my goals, making sure that every second of the day was accounted for. That made me feel as if I was being productive and useful.

I thought that was “spending time with myself.” But now I realise that this constant activity was actually a form of self-avoidance.

Now I know that spending time with yourself means really getting to know your heart, soul and mind.

There are many other things that people do to self-avoid. They can do it by constantly going out and mixing with other people, comforting themselves with things like excess food, drinking alcohol, taking drugs, watching too much TV or spending too much time online, spending too much time exercising or on self-development, and a myriad of other things that become almost like addictions.

Those things provide us with a sort of comfort and help to dull the pain of self-avoidance.

Spending Time With Yourself

How can we get to know our own heart, soul and mind?

I’ve previously discussed values, those fundamental principles that ideally should underpin your life. If you live according to your values, then you are living by your truth and that means you are being authentic. Make sure you work out your own values and try to follow them.

To be fully authentic, you really need to spend quality time with yourself. As well as meditation, there are a wide range of activities that all promote getting to know yourself better. These include walking outdoors, especially near nature, spending time in gardens, reading, journaling, having coffee in cafes or a meal out by yourself, visiting a new place, having a massage, creative activities such as drawing or writing, visiting galleries, museums or other displays, and visiting a beach or any other place of natural beauty.

Try to cut back on things like watching TV, looking at your phone, and all those other things we do to anaesthetise our feelings.


Until recently, I had never been keen on meditation and never wanted to do it. After a medical episode that I believe was partially caused by my high stress levels, I knew I had to start trying to reduce my anxiety.

The first step for me was trying some simple deep breathing exercises, sitting quietly and learning to take slow, deep breaths. Placing my hands on my stomach to feel it expand with each breath, I breathed in and out to a count of 4.

I then started to use very simple affirmations while I did this, and enjoyed the solitude and peace of using this time to release my stress and trauma, and replace it with peace.

Loving and Supporting Yourself

The ultimate purpose of spending time with and getting to know yourself is to learn to love and support yourself every single day.

Your goal as a grown up is to be self-reliant. An important part of that is being responsible for your own finances and financial independence, and knowing you are the one providing yourself with shelter and support. If you’ve allowed someone to provide some parts of that for you, start making changes so that you actively participate in all aspects of your own life.

You should be your own best friend, gently and lovingly encouraging and supporting yourself – all the time, every day. So many of us, when we have a feeling or emotion about anything, immediately turn outside ourselves for comfort or support. We tell a friend, colleague or loved one, and listen to and respect their opinions.

Instead of doing that, you should instead turn to yourself for that comfort, love and support. Sympathise with yourself, and give yourself the care and love that you need. You should also trust in your own opinions and your feelings or emotions about things.

How do you feel about spending time with yourself? I’d love to hear your comments.

Here are my previous Articles in this series:

Validate Yourself – and Transform Your Life

Become Your Own Best Friend

Don’t Give Your Power Away

Your Values and Living Your Truth

Standards – a vital part of living your truth

Having Boundaries – for healthy relationships

Authenticity and how to be authentic

Your Own Opinions and Feelings

#wellness #meditation #feelings #authenticity

Thank you for stopping by. My name is Toni Pike, a multi-genre author who loves writing thrillers for adults, non-fiction, and hilarious books for children.

I’m the author of DESOLATION BLUFF, DEAD DRY HEART and The Jotham Fletcher Mystery Thriller Series: THE MAGUS COVENANT, THE ROCK OF MAGUS, THE MAGUS EPIPHANY and HOLY SPEAR OF MAGUS. My latest release is for children aged 6-9: BRODY CODY AND THE STEPMOTHER FROM OUTER SPACE.

I’m also the author of two non-fiction books. THE ONE WAY DIET is a no-nonsense guide to losing weight and HAPPY TRAVELS 101 is a short book of travel tips.

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37 thoughts on “Meditation and Spending Time With Yourself #selflove

  1. petespringerauthor

    I would say I like my alone time, and I enjoy time with my friends. I’m happy with either, but I’m missing being around more people in the last few months. Of course, I will continue to be responsible, but I miss the simple things like meeting a friend for a drink or going out to dinner with a buddy. The other day, six of my buddies and I met (all masked up) for a long outdoor walk. It was so good for my mental health to share a few laughs.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. robbiesinspiration

    You’ve shared some good advice here, Toni. It is terrible how much stress we are all under in our everyday lives. After our 5-month lockdown I was diagnosed with stress related high blood pressure. It is related to my job and work as my BP is absolutely fine when I’m not working and goes up the minute I work.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. dgkaye

    Great points and advice Toni. I admit to being guilty to self avoidance – especially this past year. We definitely need to revisit ourselves and souls every once in awhile for a fine-tuning. ❤ xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. William Price King

    I agree with you, fully, Toni. Meditation has been a part of my life for years now and those moments of going within are very precious. Your advice on spending time with yourself and learning how to love and accept yourself is right on. Thanks for the great read. Hugs
    Reblogged on Improvisation – “The Art of Living”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Toni Pike Post author

      Thank you so much for the reblog, William. I’m so glad you’ve found meditation to be so beneficial. It sounds like you’re a master of self-respect and self-honour. Toni x


  5. Jan Sikes

    I love your story of how meditation became a part of your life, Toni. It is one of the very best self-care actions we can do! I have been practicing meditation for over 40 years and I never tire of that wonderful feeling it brings. Kudos to you for the awesome effort you chose to put in!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Miriam Hurdle

    I get stressed out if I spend all of my time with everything and everyone but myself. It feels like I miss being with someone I love. I also feel like I function on the head level but not the heart. I need the quiet time to clear my thoughts and be in touch with ‘me.’ Thank you for this post, Toni!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Debbie

    I can relate to the term self avoidance Toni! I tend to use distraction a little too much and need to work on my self acceptance. This was a great post to read at just the right time. Many thanks.

    Liked by 1 person


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