This is a series about authenticity, validation, self-belief and personal power. Having already mentioned being your own best friend, values, standards and boundaries, I now want to talk about living an authentic life.
What does authenticity mean?
Have you heard of the term authenticity? To confirm that an object is a genuine article, we might be given a certificate of authenticity for it. Artworks and other valuable items can be examined by an expert to see if they are authentic. In Australia, we have a funny slang word for authenticity – we say that something, or someone, is “dinky-di.”
But what does it mean to be an authentic person? Hopefully, we’re all real human beings, and we don’t need an expert to confirm that. But I’m talking about something more complex than that.
An authentic person is someone who is living an authentic life – and that means their life is filled with authenticity.
What is an authentic person?
To put it simply, an authentic person lives their life in alignment with their core values – and that means they are living their truth.
Because of this, various wonderful things have become their reality. They accept themselves for who they really are, and understand their own heart and motivations. They don’t appear to be fake, and they are living their own version of who should they should be.
Authentic people are not trying to copy anybody else. They’re not trying to live someone else’s version of who they should be, conforming to someone else’s plan for their life. They don’t live in someone else’s shadow, and fully participate in everything that has to do with their own life.
They do not allow themselves to be a victim, and won’t allow other people to treat them in a way that is inconsistent with their own values. They have healthy boundaries and will not tolerate anyone in their life who tries to treat them badly.
They also think about and deeply respect their own opinions and feelings. They don’t focus on what other people think of them – but on what they think of themselves. They don’t do things just to please other people, or because it’s what other people want them to do. They make their own choices in life.
In other words, they know themselves and live a life that is true to that.
How to Become Authentic
To become an authentic person, you need to think about your own values, the ones that truly resonate with your heart and mind. Those values must be used as the guiding light to lead your life, so that you are living in alignment with them.
You also need to have standards and boundaries for other people in your life. An authentic person will not let other people treat them in a way that is not in compliance with their values. If you’ve been allowing that to happen for a long time, it will take quite an effort to turn that around. But you can’t continue to let yourself be treated badly.
To be an authentic person, you need to understand and value your own feelings and opinions. While you listen to and take note of other people’s opinions, you need to primarily rely on your own judgement about things. When you do that, you stop worrying about what other people think of you. If someone is critical, you never hand your power away by reacting. Instead, you ask yourself if you agree with them – and often, you will not.
An important part of being authentic is to take an active involvement in all aspects of your life, rather than relying on other people to take care of certain aspects. That means being 100% involved in your own career, finances, family life and friendships. It also means taking responsibility for your own wellbeing. In other words, it means being a full-grown, mature adult.
Think about the masks you wear, and if you’ve been following or copying others instead of taking a leading hand with your own life. Are you sitting in the driver’s seat – or have you been in the back seat?
Have you thought about authenticity? I’d love to hear about it.
Here are my previous articles in this series:
Validate Yourself – and Transform Your Life
Your Values and Living Your Truth
Having Boundaries – for healthy relationships
#mentalwellbeing #selflove #authenticity #values
Thank you for stopping by. My name is Toni Pike, a multi-genre author who loves writing thrillers for adults, non-fiction, and hilarious books for children.
I’m the author of DESOLATION BLUFF, DEAD DRY HEART and The Jotham Fletcher Mystery Thriller Series: THE MAGUS COVENANT, THE ROCK OF MAGUS, THE MAGUS EPIPHANY and HOLY SPEAR OF MAGUS. My latest release is for children aged 6-9: BRODY CODY AND THE STEPMOTHER FROM OUTER SPACE.
I’m also the author of two non-fiction books. THE ONE WAY DIET is a no-nonsense guide to losing weight and HAPPY TRAVELS 101 is a short book of travel tips.
All my books can be found HERE.
You can find me online here:
Website: tonipike.com
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Email: authortoni.pike@gmail.com
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A great post, Toni. I think I am quite authentic and I certainly don’t tolerate nonsense from other people. I’ve been there and got the T-shirt so no more. My husband says I am anti establishment and I told me you have to be a liar to comply with a lot of what is required from people in the business world. I am not prepared to lie or be insincere.
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I think most people say (and honestly believe) that they like authentic people more than those who aren’t. Yet, it is interesting to me that at times most of us (I’m guilty sometimes) worry about what others think of us.
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Hi Pete, Thanks for your great comments. I think we all like authentic people – but you are so right. Most of worry about what other people are thinking. We should rely on our own opinions and feelings rather than those of other people, and rely more on ourselves for support and encouragement. Toni
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Excellent article Toni and one that World Leaders need to read. Most people seem to have an agenda these days and with ‘Fake News’ streaming on every platform 24/7 it is very difficult at times to identify authenticity.. I have to say that our community online is peopled by authentic people which gives me hope for the future.xx
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Thank you so much, Sally – and you are so right. Our community is a shining example of people striving to be authentic. Toni x
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I don’t put on a face for anyone. Take me or leave me, warts and all! I’m not perfect but I strive to do the best I can. Lovely article Toni, thanks for this. 🙂
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Thank you so much, Marje – it is wonderful to hear how authentic you are, which shines through in everything you do with your writing. There is nothing like truly knowing yourself and being prepared to show up in life. Toni x
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Toni, a superb article on finding our authentic self! I wholeheartedly agree with Sally’s world view on the subject. On a personal level I’ve wondered if I’m too authentic as it’s not always the easiest route to be true to oneself but I’ve always persevered as I can’t imagine being any other way!
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Thanks so much, Annika. I think you can’t go wrong if you’re being true to yourself and living according to your core values. I don’t think anyone can be too authentic – and it’s wonderful that you are. Toni x
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This was a great read Toni and a reminder as to what being authentic means. I like your question what mask are we wearing?? I felt I wore a mask more when I was working in the prison system, as I needed to keep my true identity hidden to some extent.
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Hi Debbie, Thank you so much. Yes, in many workplaces we might feel like we’re wearing a mask because we have to put on a professional veneer. But actually, I’m sure you were following your own values – things, I’m sure, like honesty, kindness, integrity and decency – and so you really were being authentic. Toni x
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That’s lovely thanks Toni! I do try to be as authentic as I can and it’s much easier now that I’m not working.
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